Hard Day

Being a mom brings me more joy than I could ever describe - but some days being a mom is hard. Yesterday I noticed JK was walking a little funny. Lars referred to her walk as a "hitch in her giddy-up". I took her to the doctor today and after watching her walk and examining her he told me he thinks she has an infection in her hip. I was not expecting anything like that and then when he wanted to look at her blood my world felt out of control. I cried in the waiting room all the while playing a rousing game of "I Spy" with Toby and JK because that's what moms do right? - we fake normal when nothing is normal.

JK'a blood work came back normal and to use the words of our doctor, "it's not leukemia" - he knows me that well to know that I went THERE immediatly (have I ever blogged about the time I was struggling with fears of SIDS and he asked if he could pray with me - I can not tell you how much we love him).

I write this post because I want my kids to know that while motherhood is my greatest joy, it is also my EVERYTHING during this season of my life and that sometimes means being a mom is scary. The only way I make it through the hard times of being a mom is having faith in God and knowing that he has a plan for each of us - and then I thank him everyday for letting me be thier mom.