Friday, December 12, 2008

Gratitude


So I mentioned in a previous post that I have had a rough time after the birth of Julia Karen, while I am not ready to reflect on the last three weeks and the struggles that I have had, I am ready to put in writing some of the things that have helped me through this trying time. These are things that I am eternally grateful for:

Christ's Atonement. Through these last weeks I have leaned on the knowledge that He not only suffered for our sins but for our pain also.

Prayers. There have been hard days when I literally ran to my knees and I have felt his comfort immediately

A Prophet and his Apostles. I know that God has given us a prophet and apostles on the earth today - and their words have strengthened and comforted me.

The Scriptures. They have brought me peace.

Lars and my Mom. I hate that they have to go through this with me, but they really do save me. Hour by hour they have held me and loved me. They have cried with me and helped me to believe that this will pass. I could never put into words how much I need and love them.

Family and Friends. I am very blessed to have my family and Lars' as well as the love of fantastic friends. I know that I am blessed. I hope that I can be half the daughter/sister and friend that others have been to me.

A closeness to my Dad. Most people know that my 'real' dad passed a couple days before Trey was born. I grew up with two dad's and my relationship with my real dad was at times strained. I didn't understand the choices he made in his life. Through these weeks of struggling I have felt a knowledge of the pain that my Dad struggled with here on Earth and I have grown closer to him.

So those are some of the things that I am grateful for through this 'time of trial'. And just in case anyone is wondering if I have missed the thing I should be most grateful for I posted the above picture so that all will know that Julia Karen is worth all of it. She and my boys are my joy. For whatever reason I have gone through this post-partum period, but I am learning and growing through it and I can almost (ALMOST) say that I am better for it....

7 comments:

klonghall December 12, 2008 at 7:01 PM  

Darn it! You made me cry again today! You are loved in our house probably more than you know. You are in the prayers of all of us here. I've been a grump all week. I'm having the hardest time getting into Christmas this year. Christmas just seems to have lost some of its luster for me without my mother here. I'm feeling a little like the Mr. Krank. I think I'd rather go on a cruise this year. :-0 We love you and miss you and can't wait to spend time with you guys later this month.

Nicole December 12, 2008 at 9:08 PM  

Uh!!!1 SO SWEET!!!! I am sorry sorry you are going through this and I WISH SOOOOO much that I could be there with you. BUt trials can be a blessing b/cI can tell by your post that you are in a much more spitual place than me! I am learning from you!!!

I love you and can't wait to talk to you!

Cameron and Cindy December 13, 2008 at 4:21 AM  

I LOVE LOVE LOVE you! Thanks for sharing your thoughts/feelings. . .I would say that you are right about all of that! Thanks for being our friends. . . we love the Longneckers!! p.s. Your house looks so darling all ready for Christmas and everything!!

The Longnecker Zoo December 13, 2008 at 3:40 PM  

Oh Candi. I pray all the time that you can get over this hill quickly. You have the right attitude to learn what you need to learn. She is worth all of it and it will pass. I love you and wish I was there to help in some small or big way. Can't wait to see you in 11 days.

Courtney December 13, 2008 at 9:50 PM  

Candi--Thank you so much for sharing that. It was fun to talk to you the other day and share about our crazy lives. I can't wait for you guys to come and visit. By the way, you need to tell Lars to go get you some coconut cream pie from Jim N Nicks. :)

Yahnira Backus a.k.a. "Mommy" December 15, 2008 at 10:07 AM  

This was a beautiful post. I wish I could borrow a drop of your faith and testimony during difficult times. We all have trials, but it's how we deal with them that makes all the difference. Thanks for sharing your testimony...it's truly priceless.

Kari December 15, 2008 at 4:30 PM  

Oh Candi! I wish so badly that I was there and could be doing something for you. I guess I wish more that you didn't have to go through what you're going through! We really miss you guys and hope and pray that things improve soon!!! I hope we can chat soon. Hang in there!

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